Over the years, Trek Online's overactive members developed many running gags and inside jokes. At post sim chats, parties, and on the message boards, these items evolved, taking on a life of their own and developing into a full-fledged unofficial, uncoordinated, but nevertheless ever present sim centered on the imaginary city of Trekonlina. Eventually, whole sims with in sims, characters, and running gags developed within Trekonlina. This culture took on a life of its own in Trek Online's Sim MUSH and was featured in Robin Knight's TOL Park comic strips.
"In the beginning, there was Timothy Berners-Lee (see also: Al Gore), and he created the heavens and the world. Therein was molded the planet of Simulation, and upon it was placed the first Trekker (see also: Trekkie). From this humble beginning was born the empire of Spacefleet Online. And from it's ashes was birthed many city states, among which was one nestled in a valley along a sea, known as Trekonlina."- Grand Book of TOL; 1:1:1
City of Trekonlina
Trekonlina is the personification of the club. It contains neighborhoods named after TOL sims - such as Generation Town and Vindiville, monuments and public squares dedicated to historical figures and events, and a series of inside jokes.
Defenses: Although the city of Trekonlina itself is a generally peaceful place, the peace must be maintained. To further the cause of Trekonlina's defense, a wall around the city was constructed. In addition, Trekonlina maintains a MiB garrison of troops, hovertanks, and Smite-Bot 3000s to ward off potential invaders. The city is also protected from orbit by a highly advanced satellite defense system, ground-based dome shield generators, transporter jammers, aerospace defense batteries, and MiB aerospace hovercraft.
Government: Trekonlina has quite a few public buildings located in the easternmost quarter of the city. These include the Assembly Building, Orion House, History Museum, Simming Temple, and MiB Headquarters.
Monuments: Trekonlina is home to many monuments, including many circles, squares and statues (to honor important persons), High Water Markers (to mark the defeat of great enemies), preserved historic structures, as well as a few other minor monuments.
Public Parks: Trekonlina has many large city parks in addition to a number of other smaller parks and greenspaces. Most notable are Rollins Park in the government district - a location where one will find many of TOL's leaders strolling and debating over city politics - Stonewall Battlefield Park, the parks around Lake Oden, Carrie Park, and Robin Park. With so many parks its no wonder that Trekonlina is nicknamed "The city of green fields."
Ruins: TOL-CIS and Net Side sit in ruins outside the walls of Trekonlina, having been reclaimed by the forest. TOL-CIS was once a colonial settlement until one day it's inhabitants mysteriously disappeared. Net Side was never heavily inhabited, except by Rolumans, most of whom have since moved into Trekonlina.
Neighborhoods: Trekonlina is filled with a wide range of distinctive communities. The most famous are Generation Town, Vindiville, and Little Q'onoS. Generation Town was site of the earliest settlement in the city. Its narrow streets wrap around Generation Hill, and its stone medieval buildings are filled with pubs, restaurants, and night clubs, making the neighborhood the center of the City's night life. Vindiville is famous for its brightly painted Victorian buildings, cafes, and political activism. Founded shortly after Generation Town on one of Trekonlina's other hills, its quaint streets, small parks, and public squares have been at the center of most of the City's history. Finally, Little Q'onoS was settled during the wars by a band of mercenary Klingons hired to defend the City walls. Their neighborhood has expanded into a large Klingon district where one can find some of the best bloodwine in on the planet.
Trekonlina is organized around several major factions which hold power in and around the city. Listed below are the most important of the many groups that hold sway over the city.
Men in Blue (MiB): (Status: Major, Friendly) The Men in Blue (since Men in Black was already taken), began as a small group of secretive operatives dedicated to protect the president, and have grown to become Trekonlina's predominate faction, still protecting the president, but also policing the city, and providing Trekonlina's military might. The MiBs officially operate out of MiB headquarters in Trekonlina, but are rumored to be run from a network of underground complexes throughout the great walled city. They are easily identifiable because they were underwear on their head in an attempt to shield their identity.
The MiB were first created and led by Captain Sergei, where they caused general havoc to anyone the president was annoyed with. This generally involved capturing the annoying party and putting them through an often less than successful program designed to reeducate them (called, aptly enough, reeducation). (The method has only been proven predominately successful on clones.) Eventually, as was to be expected, the MiBs grew out of control and started to smite and reeducate just about everyone, and not just those ordered by the president.
Fortunately, Captain Sergei committed suicide by shooting himself in the back 53 times, and the MiBs were brought under control. President Chas Hammer gave command of the MiB forces to his wife, who he could more or less trust.
Under Amy Hammer, the MiBs were forced to, with the rise of the rival MiP and Smite-Bots, transform into a strong military force to defend Trekonlina. The MiBs were able to successfully defend Trekonlina from the MiP, but the battle so weakened them that a group of Smite-Bot's threatened to gain control. However, an alliance was signed between Trekonlina and the Smite-Bot's, and Captain Amy Hammer was replaced by the Smite-Bot leader, Commodore Robin Knight. As was to be expected, Amy promptly divorced Chas.
The MiBs under Robin dominated Trekonlina's power pyramid, and trounced PCA forces at the battle of Gabor's Cavern. Upon the retirement of Chas Hammer as the President, Robin became the president. However, she had difficulty governing, forcing Chas to return. Chas and following Presidents worked hard to bring the MiBs under control, and today, not much has been heard from them.
Men in Purple (MiP): (Status: Medium, Unknown [Presumed Hostile]) The Men in Purple were originally cloned from MiB agents, and appear almost identical to MiB agents (except that they wear different uniforms which are, incidentally, purple). The MiP are not a faction emanating from within Trekonlina's walls, but instead are from a nearby city-state, commanded by one Admiral Gillis. While mainly relying on cloned agents, they have additionally been known to use black market Smite-Bot 2000 prototypes as peripheral auxiliaries. History has been filled with a series of battles followed by truces with Gillis and his forces, so peace between Trekonlina and the MiP always remains in question.
Federation: (Status: Nonexistent [Formerly Medium], Vanquished [Formerly Hostile]) Collectively known to historians as the "Federation," this faction actually consisted of a variety of interests united in an attempt to usurp control of Trekonlina while the city was still young. Led by "Forum Ally" Uridien, their makeshift army marched on Trekonlina in a succession of unsuccessful attempts to sack the city, first from within, and later from the neighboring city-state of Federation (from which their name is derived). Many remnants of this epic struggle are preserved today in monuments around the city, most notably the high water marks and the statues dedicated to triumphant generals. These forces are the primary reason for the building of Trekonlinas walls, which still stand today as proof against possible invaders.
Smite-Bots: (Status: Incorporated [Formerly Medium], Friendly [Formerly Hostile]) Automated fighting drones created during the Reign of Terror (aka when Sergei ran the MiBs), Smite-Bots were designed and constructed by Commodore Robin Knight in her quest to overthrow MiB dominance in Trekonlina. Originally operating out of various structures outside of Trekonlina, their base of operation was reputedly changed to a network of caverns below Trekonlina after MiB scrutiny of the surrounding countryside intensified. Smite-Bots gained control of Trekonlina for a short time following the first MiB/MiP war, but were later repelled. Eventually a treaty was signed, incorporating Smite-Bots into the MiB and their leader into that role in the MiB hierarchy. Since then, Smite-Bots have been perfected with a new 3000 model, and serve as a powerhouse in the impressive MiB arsenal.
Political Correctness Agency (PCA): (Status: Suppressed [Formerly Minor], Hostile) A group of genetically engineered clones formerly operating out of a holographic psedutopia in Gabor's Cavern, located deep within the forests outside of Trekonlina, the PCA are dedicated to bringing political correctness to all residents of Simulation. After an attempt at "correcting" a Trekonlina holiday display, they were summerly tracked down and defeated by MiB military units at the battle of Gabor's Cavern. While the PCA stronghold had been destroyed, it is rumored that PCA agents still roam Trekonlina, waiting for the day they can return to bring "politically correct bliss" to the city.
Others: (Status: Minor, Varies) As with all cities the size of Trekonlina, there are far too many factions to list here. Various MiB splinter factions are known to exist (choosing various names such as Men in White [MiW], or Women in Bikinis [WiB]), as well as other lesser known groups (such as the Nude White Mice Occultists and Klingovulcan Mystics). However, because these factions are so minor and have little or no sway over Trekonlina, they are not listed here.
During the course of the wars and power struggles, many armourments were developed.
Cream Pies: These weapons are your standard cream filled pies which are launched at an unsuspecting target causing them to be covered with cream. Very embarrassing to be hit by one.
Spam Grenades: These devices, full of stinky rotten spam, are hurled at the intended target after pulling the pin. After a set amount of time, they explode, splattering spam everywhere.
Cream Pie Launcher: The dreaded cream pie launcher is an automated device that launches cream pies at a victim with deadly aim. This tends to be very messy.
Spam Thrower: This device is not unlike a flame thrower, except it operates with rotten spam instead of fire. A yucky proposition, indeed.
Smite: The old-fashioned smite is the least powerful smite available, but it is also the most common, because everyone can perform it and it doesn't require special instruments. The old-fashioned smite is simply a very hard punch or, if desired, a hard strike with a bludgeoning instrument. To keep from getting their hands dirty, senior officers carry smite buttons, which magically cause a hand or foot to appear from the sky and smite the desired person or object.
Smite-o-Matic: The feared smite-o-matic is an extremely powerful warhammer-like device that uses an attached gear mechanism to rapidly smite all in its path.
Super Smiter: Super smiters are rare devices that allow the wielder to create the ever-dreaded super smite effect. These are usually reserved for COs and XOs.
Hellacious Hammer: There are three ultra smiters known to exist. Two, listed below, are the property of TOL's Chief Justice and President. The third, and least powerful of the three, the Hellacious Hammer, or sometimes, "Mjollnir," is the property of the MiB Director at any given time, and always returns to its owner when thrown.
Gallant Gavel: Used during trials to smite convicts, it is better known as the "Gallant Gavel." This incredibly feared gavel is an ultra smiter, and the second most powerful known smiter in existence.
Presidential Smiter: The most powerful of all the smite devices, it's name is misleading. The presidential smiter is actually an ultra smiter, and is capable of untold smiting power.
Smite-Bot: Lumbering, clunking robots out of a 1960s horror movie that are surprisingly effective and can be outfitted to carry just about any weapon system imaginable.
There are a few ways to avoid being smited. Of course one can duck and run, but for true protection, one needs some of the very rare but very effective anti-smite devices, listed below for your reference...
Smite Armor: Akin to body armor of years gone by, smite armor, based on Smite-Bot technology, is a somewhat effective means of lessening the impact of smites. Smite Armor is available solely to MiB Agents.
Smite Shield: With only a handful of these devices known to exist, they are extremely valuable. These personal forcefields can deflect any standard (non-super) smite are the sole property of TOL's highest officials (but some are circulated on the black market).
Civil Defense Helmet: The best defense, the civil defense helmet is the property of the head of TOL, Chas Hammer, and is capable of deflecting any and all known smites.
German WWI Spiked Helmet: Property of former President Robin Knight, this helmet, reminiscent of those used by German forces during World War I, is a very distinctive, and functional, piece of headgear, deflecting all known types of smites, and providing the ability for the wearer to impale those unfortunate enough to be caught in its path.
There are a few things of interest in Trekonlina that have yet to be mentioned. What follows is a missarray of various things that you might interesting.
Cardboard cut-out "TOL Weakest Link" Audience member: Left over from one of TOLs weakest link games, that was kicked out of the audience when actual people arrived to watch.
Can of Unopenable Peanuts: "Oh no! It won't open! Perhaps is might still be useful in leaving a dent in Ensign Applsmear's cranium."
Grand Book of TOL: Locked safely away in the Simming Temple, the Grand Book of TOL is a manuscript of all that has passed and all that will pass in TOL.
Jelly Beans: These lovely round bringers of goodness are, by far, Trekonlina's most popular food. A stash of them kept alive an entire brigade of MiB agents who were stranded for 19 days because they lost their map and were too macho to ask for directions.
Neon Signs: If you ever want to get attention, use a neon sign! These glowing, undescribably annoying, green signs, may not get you want you want, but you'll definitely get your case heard.
Nude White Mice: "Nooooooooo! They're everywhere! Run! The experimental lab mice have escaped and they've come to kill us all!"
Pool of Pudding: Whenever TOL had a party, it wasn't long before someone got pushed into a pool full of chocolate pudding...
Red Button: "Heh, what does this button do?
Smiley Face: "O - M - G ! It's the crazed face from fruck! For the love of God, please leave us alone!"
Spam: Even though everyone hates it, this food somehow became one of the leading menu items in Trekonlina.
Vat of Spam: A feared method of reeducation, involves dunking an unsuspecting individual into a vat of spam.
Whistling Dixie: For a reason that has baffled the many advisory committees and blue ribbon panels convened to investigate, whistling Dixie in the presence of Chas causes him to vanish into another dimension.
XO Plants: Now they finally have something to do! XO plants are genetically engineered plants resembling Bonsai trees that were created so that Trekonlina's executive officers would have something to do when captains were running the ship.